Album: Women in Music Pt. III by Haim
Food: Crispy Chilli Tofu from the Bosh cookbook.
It's very irritating how much a want to text a boy I have weekly sex with exactly what I had for breakfast. However it's also really cool and great that I'm having sex. Every time I miss my ex-boyfriend I remind myself that my stories about continuously being rejected by women in clubs make my friends laugh Oh! So! Much! Luckily I don't have to miss him too much because on Sundays I have heterosexual intercourse with a European with a skincare routine. It takes place in near silence with a rotation of 3 positions (4 if you count a difference between legs up and legs down, which I do), but I don't mind because he showers three times a day, smells like Abercrombie did when I was 15 (both literally of the perfume and more abstractly of raging pheromones) and has a cock so big I get to go 'Oh, ahh! Not so deep baby!' in my best golden syrup pornstar tones. Maybe I need to cut my hair into something spiky with random blonde bits and get my eyebrow piercing back. Something that screams missionary is boring! Actually maybe I need to wear a tiny dress that clips that bottom of my arse cheeks and get some fake lashes. Something that screams I want a man with more testosterone than personality to knock me about a bit while he rails me! Mostly what I would like is a threesome with an androgynous female identifying and a rugby player with two brain cells and I would like it all to happen sober on a Tuesday morning.
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